Bumbling Bemused Blogger Begins

PROCRASTINATOR PAYS FOR NON-PRODUCTION

Today I didn't leave the apartment. No, no, that's not true, I DID go and take a mini jaunt and peer into my mailbox. I spent the whole day thinking about what I WOULD do rather than focusing on what I COULD do while worrying about all the things I SHOULD do but didn't.

I spent the whole day on line Internet researching myself into a stupor and sending off informational e-mail requests. I am wrestling with that lovely situation when one tries to figure out 17 paths simultaneously, most of which need building from scratch. In a nutshell....(an interesting expression, "in a nutshell....what about...."in a pillbox" kind of a similar size -- why a pill box, though? oh, pill box hats. whatever THAT meant. Because pills tend to come in...not boxes, not jars, but...what DO you call what pills come in? Receptables? Hmmm, reminds me of something else, that I won't go into. Definitely "jar" is not the right word. "Containers" may be the best, although "containers" covers a lot of territory, right up to shipping containers, which are HUGE, as they have to be, if they're going to contain a flotilla of cars across the ocean (ok, so flotillas are for boats but cars crossing the ocean in ships can squeeze in under the flotilla category, can't they?)

Ahhhhhh, word play is all very well, but NOT the category I was going to do a self-expose (can't figure out how to do the accent) on

Here's the equation: 10 very confused iterations of myself, none with satisfactory or "oh, everything is just fine" sorts of answers......

1 professional, currently unemployed as of Wed Aug 6
1 job seeker, who has sent off an oodle of resumes and highly personalized, effectively targeted cover letters with a response of zero
1 busy networker, who has lined up 4 networking meetings for next week, average cost per meeting, $35
1 freelancer, attempting to drum up freelance business, with 1 free project (meaning zip/nada/zilch in terms of pay, but hopefully beaucoup possibilities in terms of future projects) + 1 paid project that doesn't start until Aug 22.
1 stock portfolio owner with a portfolio that qualifies as miniscule
1 checking account/savings account holder with a today balance in the 3 figures
1 MBA holder who knows "yes, Virginia, inflow MUST exceed outflow in order to thrive long term"
1 maxed-out credit card holder
1 unsure Orange County transient resident
1 low-level philosopher who is asking the 3 pronged who/what/where question as to "why am I here in over-priced, especially when one is unemployed, Orange County place?"
- Prong 1: No "who" (promising relationship w/long term potential)
- Prong 2: Weak "what" (no job, freelance projects iffy)
-Prong 3: Unclear "where" (do I want to be around gridlock, masses of concrete, and a place where most people don't practice or recognize word play, and are more familiar with the term "sex play" than "fair play" the rest of my existance?)

So today, even though I have 5 serious and important things I was supposed to accomplish....(I'll list them, just so I'll sound serious and accomplished, even though I didn't do ONE of them:

1. Meeting notes from a project I just landed
2. Creative brief to explain the project I just landed
3. Designing business cards for my 8-day-old freelance business
4. Proposal for a web project
5. Reviewing 8 lengthy documents that will serve as content for this web pilot project I'm doing for free (I'm in good company, though, a web designer in Iowa is working on it with me too, for free.....

Anyway, I did NONE of those things, instead I pondered on the state of my finances, wondering if it's time to....

1. GET a roommate? (I have a 2-bedroom, but one serves as my office -- I'm looking for the perfect "commuter roommate" who just needs a place 1-2 days a week)

2. BE a roommate?

3. MOVE out of Southern Cal?
a. Oregon
i. Portland
ii. Eugene
iii Ashland
iv Lost Valley
b. Washington
i. Seattle
ii. TBD

c. Northern Cal
i. Ukiah
ii. Berkeley
iii TBD

4. JOIN a community/co-op?
i. North Carolina
ii. Virginia
iii. Who knows?

5. CASH IN my miniscule retirement?

Believe you me, one can EASILY spend a whole day Internet researching 1 through 4, #5 was left unresearched since did not feel like exploring THAT painful option today....

So, off, off, off to bed with me! Tomorrow, yes, tomorrow, I will tackle items 1-5 on my BUSINESS list and do my best to put the PERSONAL LIST on the shelf for now, it's as addictive as trying to get out every last bit of gunk from your innie belly button (even with belly buttons, it's best to follow the 80/20 rule, otherwise, the situation can get quite painful.....

OK, now that I've told on myself, and flogged/blogged on myself publicly, perhaps my business list will somewhat shrink tomorrow....now that I fixed it that I'll be working THE WHOLE ENTIRE WEEKEND.....The procrastinator's price to pay for nonproduction.

Posted by jacqueline at August 15, 2003 11:03 PM